Bouncing in a different saddle

Thursday means one thing...POLO. Thats right, every Thursday at work, we play polo at lunch, just like most companies I assume. Today was awesome, fastest paced game yet. Now i'm back at my desk, it all seems so long ago.

Decided against riding later as my thighs feel like jelly now. Shame, as tonight was meant to be a gentle ride, like the one was meant to be on Tuesday which declined into an all out 30 mile time trial.

Flying in the saddle, pain in my legs

What a day. Having been asked this morning if I wanted to go for a gentle ride I was excited at the prospect. However as the day progressed I began to feel worse and worse, almost to the point of telling my riding partners that I wouldn't be able to make it. Anyhow, I didn't want to loose face or let a tiredness feeling put me out so I went anyway.

So having finished work, off I set on my 1 hour drive home to meet my friends to ride. Started out feeling terrible, having repaired a puncture in a hurry at Tom's house as my tyre was flat when I got it out of the car. Riding at just 14mph to begin with was hard, and I just wanted to sleep. However, this feeling didn't last. Soon we were all flying through the peaks at an outrageous speed. A 30 mile ride, averaging 19.1mph (for me) and 18.5 for the other two was an impressive showing by all. Undoubtedly our fastest ride yet, by a long way. The adrenaline rushing around afterwards was fantastic and there was a real buzz between the three of us. So thanks very much to Tom and Pete for the ride of my life. I haven't experienced such pain and an adrenalin rush since my rowing days.

Not what I was expecting when sitting at work at 4:00. How things can change in a moment. Amazing, simply amazing.

Another one gone

Another weekend over, but very productive on the whole. You've already heard about yesterday, so I'll talk about today.

Went for my usual Sunday ride, but this week, we had a newcomer. A guy called Chris who used to ride for one of the local clubs here in sheffield. Being the competetive guy I am, I felt the need to assert myself on the situation and wouldn't be beaten by him. I succeeded, but at the cost of every muscle in my legs. I'm shattered, but feel it was good training. Was also a blazingly hot day, 26 degrees C in the peak district, which meant liquids were at a real premium when riding for 3 hours with only 2 litres.
Still managed to maintain a 16.7mph average for the day, which is what we normally average on cooler days. The others had a good ride too, not much separated us throughout the day, though I still put the biggest gaps in going up climbs (god I love them). Fantastic ride with fantastic company...as always.

Going out again on Tuesday hopefully, if I'm recovered that is.

Back to work tomorrow, and a series of client meetings next week should keep me on my toes. Other than that, business as usual...whatever that is.

I love photoshop.

Having spent many years doing commercial things on Photoshop, it's sometimes nice to just play with it. Today I have done just that. I realise I was going to go out, but other things got in my way, so I did this instead. The next Johnny Wilkinson....I think not!!

My Day Off!

Morning everyone. Well, finally the weekend is here and I have a whole day to do whatever I want. I'm thinking about going out into the peaks to do some photography. I really need to build up my portfolio if I'm going to be able to sell pieces in restaurants and cafes. I'm very excited at the prospect, but cant find the time to get it all sorted.

I realized this morning that as I'm usually on the wrong side of the camera, there aren't many recent pictures of me, so heres a self portrait I did this morning. I like it!

I'm off out road riding tomorrow, though having gone out last night, I'm feeling a little tired, especially after a hectic week. Sure I'll be fine.

Right, I'm off out to make the most of this weather with my camera. Catch ya'll soon.
Lex

A long day that simply grew.....

I would like to think I am more adept at using a computer than most, yet somehow today it all went wrong.

The day was going well up until 4:30. We'd had reporting to do in the morning and then being Thursday, it was polo lessons at lunch which was lovely in the sun. This was all topped of with a fantastic BBQ and beer before getting back to work. I was somewhat sleepy by this point to say the least, I blame the beer personally. I started doing some data analysis and re-arrangement in the morning, and continued with it once the BBQ was over. It was all going very well to be honest, I pressed shutdown at the end of the day and it asked if I wanted to save the docs, as i was typing in a file name, it obviously got impatient and shutdown anyway. So I lost everything, I had another go tonight at home, but was too tired to have any idea what was going on. Oh well, back on it in the morning!

Katie gets back from her riding trip in Ireland tomorrow, it's been good to get some space to myself over the last week and a half. She seems to have had a good time though which is good.

Time To Work

Due to certain people harrasing me about why I dont bother posting on my blog I thought I now would.

I'm now gainfully employed at a media firm, dealing with online marketing and advertising. It's great fun at the moment, but so much to learn, including how to play polo!!

As for everything else, the road biking is going very well, and I am hoping to go to the Alpes with my riding parteners next summer (and I'm already over excited!!).

There seem to be many other things cluttering up my small under developed head, but I can't put my finger on them, so I ont try to elaborate!!

I'll try and post more often for those of you who want to know how much more exciting your lives are than mine.

Money isn't everything........

.......unless you don't have any!!
Well as I approach the impending doom of my graduation I find myself slipping deeper into poverty, I know I'll get out of it soon enough, but it's rather intimidating at the moment.

On another note, I'm enjoying the new modules and getting into them with some good old group coursework, joy!!

I've lost my way

I'm not sure how, but I only ever feel the need to share when things are going badly, so here I am again. With the passing of every day, I feel less sure what i want to do, but more sure that I want to do something in the business world. I was looking at PR or advertising, but I somehow feel that everyone else out ther is a better candidate than me. During my sporting years I always believed that I could beat everyone else no matter, even when it was far from the truth. These days though, I somehow feel that I'm at the bottom of the stack, waiting to see what's left. When I compare myself to others I know, I feel as though I have lost all the proffesional ambition I once had, not through desire, but through ability.

I don't know where to go from here! I have a flat for next year in sheffield, and a job at the climbing wall hopefully, but it's hardly the £50k job i saw myself in a few years ago.

When I left school, I missed that, now my uni life is drawing to a close I feel as though I have wasted the opportunities. Ive reached a definitive junction in my life, but the signposts are blank. Where there used to be prospects, I now feel as though I have to somehow settle for less.

I don't seem to be able to see beyond the next big choice, but I can't see what that big choice is!

I can afford to live if i stay at the wall, but it seems like such a waste of my £10,000 degree debt that I've racked up. I often used to do things because it was what others expected, however now my worries are personal, and internal. I need to satisfy a need which I can't identify.

I've always been bad at sharing my feelings, I probably always will be, but I'm finding it somehow harder to deal with this time. People ask me to exlplain how i feel to them but I simply don't want to. This leaves me on my own, through my own choices! When people used to ask me to explain what it was like to have to stop rowing I simply couldn't describe it to them, there was no way I could, only someone who had been through it would understand, so why bother trying? I feel much the same now, whilst I could try to explain everything, they wouldn't truly understand what's going on in my head....not even I know that!!

As always though, don't worry, I'll be fine......I think......!!

End & begining

Well exams are over but was back in for the first day of lectures today. Everything is going well so far, though only one day has gone. Now the torment of waiting for results to come out begins, oh the joy.

Soon 'twill all be over

Well in a weeks time i'll have finished my exams. Project management for 2 hours, what a hoot, oh well!! At least after the exam there is fun to be had. I'll be driving to wales with my bike and my friends for a weekend of biking. Most likely hung-over biking in knee deep mud but still fun all the same. Can't wait. Unfortunately I'm concentrating more on the going away than the exam just before!! Oooops.

When will the weather get better

I wanted to get out on my bike to get fit over this period, but the weather is simply shocking, between revising and working, i dont seem able to catch any of the dry spells. Never mind!

Finally my ride is done.....volume 2

So here it is, another one of my fabulous creations of metal. The picture is from boxing day, when i went out onto the ridgeway in oxfordshire for the day, more clay than you could shake a stick at, infact i found this to be true when i had to lever large chunks out from the bike with a stick!!!
Went and did the Marin trail again too, felt so much more comfortable on this compared to my old hardtail. Just waiting for friends to get back into sheffield so I can get out into the peak.
Time to try saving now me thinks, though i have just found a really good deal on a freeride frame............

Much time has passed and my thoughts deepen

Whilst after such a long period of time you may expect me to tell tales of my doings, I am afraid i shall disapoint. These last few months have seen me struggle on a very personal level, so much so, that the struggle is with myself.
I have spent many hours over the last few years in lectures, tutorials, and seminars, but only recently have I actually asked myself.......why?
Through peer pressure i presume i expected that i should go to university and get a degree, all i know is that it certainly is not now through a personal desire. I expected the whole university life style to suit me, though it does not. I feel as though all my expectations and impressions of what i believed university to be have been smashed. I never thought after finishing my A-Levels that four years on I would give anything to be back there again. A structured life, where in all reality what happens has little or no significance, imagination can make everything seem so rosy and the prospect of having to make life decisions are but specs on the future time line.
I used to feel as though i had so many things i wanted to be, an architect, a lawyer, even once an accountant. These days have passed, i now feel lost with no direction, an inability to think logically or see the next step through a turmoil of confusion and worry. Over the last few hours i looked over pictures from my past spanning more than a decade. The images made me remember how happy i used to be in myself, not feeling guilty of other peoples' happiness or motivation. I now cover my own worries by being the person who cheers everyone else up, and provides a happy atmosphere, the ultimate of all pretenses; not claiming to be rich or famous but just to be happy. How strong the facade of laughter can be.
I feel as though My achievements in earlier life are somehow insurmountable through other sources, as though my best moments have come and gone making it so very hard for me to see any prospects ahead. I now fear that chances pass me by as I live in this shell believing that those were the good days.
Weeks can pass where I feel fantastic, usually those when I'm busy and active, however, the moment I have some time to myself to take stock, I find myself as I do now, subdued, frustrated and lonely.
The loneliness is what confuses me so much, I have a very very loving family who have always been there for me and always will be, a very loving girlfriend, and more friends than i can shake a stick at. Though i feel that what i do lack are friends who would be there if i really got into trouble, or even those who would actively sit and listen to my rants like this one without either falling asleep or having to resort to a stiff drink.
Hopefully over time, these anxieties shall pass and i will find something else I am very good at and enjoy to replace the feelings of old.

May the new year bring focus and direction of thought. Good health to you all and a prosperous new year.

But don't worry my friends,
For I'll be just fine
I shall give it a moment,
Then give it good time.
- Lex 2006

Back again

Back at uni now, had my first lecture today, was strange after being up here all summer to just suddenly change my routine without any change in location. Everything seems to be rubbibg me up the wrong way at the moment, variuos things to blame i'm sure, but i can't pin it down to any one thing which would make it all so much easier. Oh well, i'm sure it'll pass.
Trying to get out riding more now, having been destroyed by one of the rowing squad the other day on a ride. Though looking out of the window now at the sheets of rain, today may not be one of my riding days!!!

Finally my ride is done

Swamped

Just finished upgrading parts on my bike, so now i'll be just a touch under the speed of light. However, I haven't had a chance to test the new set-up out yet as I had intended on going out today, but the weather turned from dry and overcast to floodland in a matter of minutes, oh well. So hopefully i'll be able to get out at the start of next week if i'm not working. Climbing is going well too, just trying to get as many hours as possible to make ends meet........maybe if i spent less on my bike this task would be substantially easier, but where's the fun in that hey.

Riding into the sunset

Been getting out road riding a fair amount recently, doing about 90-110 miles a week, but it has just been so hard, that i'm always either doing early or late rides, though to be fair it's usually late as my efforts to get out of bed seem to be futile. Still no one around in sheffield apart from my girlfriend so i'm looking forward to some of my mates getting back during freshers week.

Left at work, whilst she's out climbing

Work was very quiet today, only a few people about. Went bouldering for half an hour at lunch which was cool, sent 3 problems I hadn't done before.
But then as I was working the afternoon stint, my girlfriend comes to inform me that she's going out climbing for the evening............with other men!!! I say!!! So not only was i left knowing that i wasn't climbing and she was, but she'd taken the car, leaving me to walk home having locked up at the end of the day, the cheek of it.
Oh well, maybe this was the retribution i was waiting for after all the success recently!!

2 First Timers and awaiting compensation!!

Well it's been eventfull over the past week, having acheived two personal triumphs, in that most will think them feeble. I lead my first E1 on grit (having already lead E2 in wales and soloed E1 on grit) with my brother at Bamford on Nemmes Pas Harry (E1 5B). Having done this, i was enthused to do more. Katie and myself went to The Foundry yesterday for a few hours and having warmed up i set up a 6c (ok, so not hard at all) on the mildly overhanging wall. Having failed on the 6b next to it just after christmas i was rather sceptical of the outcome. However, it all came together and i managed to breeze through it without any trepedation. With this much going well, i'm just waiting for the S**t to hit the fan somewhere!!!

HPC - Can you spell it?

Here we are on top of Pebble at Plantation having a spelling lesson. Squint your eyes and see HPC (High Peak Club). Genius. Well done to all those involved, our sponsors and my teachers who would marvel at my new spelling ability!!

Gritstone summer evening

Here's my first blog, and what a way to start. A day out in the peak district to plantation, saw all of us being eaten by midges left, right and centre. How our very own Lisa managed to climb bare foot and in a skirt whilst the rest of us squirmed from the bites, I have no idea, but credit to her for the effort! Aside from that, a great day was had by all, getting 3 problems sent by myself, and many more by others. How i miss the bitter cold days on the gritstone when it's hot, then when it's cold i pray for some finger warming sun!!

Cratcliffe Bouldering

My first trip to Cratcliffe couldn't have been in better conditions. A cool afternoon and a group of great people. The picture to the left shows Will on the crux of T-Crack (B8 / Font 7b). Nice one Will.

Portland - Summer 05

The summer of 2005 saw myself and three friends head down to Portland for what was set to be an amazing trip. The picture shows Amy climbing through the lower bulge of one of the routes near Reptile's Smile. The whole week was amazing, camping just off portland on the mainland. The weather was amazing as was the company. Future climbing trips for me will always have to be compared to this one, and I fear others may not live up to it.